I’m seriously annoyed right now. Like to the fuckin’ max. (Please excuse my language) I just need to vent right now. Like seriously. Disregard this.

I’ve been working night shifts back to back for these past 4 days, getting off at 11:30pm and never sleeping ‘til 4am until 1pm just to get ready for work and you come up in here telling me to clean this and clean that and to make sure this is done and whatnot. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, who do you think I am? Wonder fuckin’ woman? I work to help the family out and you have the AUDACITY to tell me to make sure that I clean!? THAT is seriously irritating as fuck. I am tired. I’m exhausted. Why aren’t you considerate enough to let me fuckin’ relax once in a fuckin’ while? See this is why I didn’t wanna leave Big Bear in the first place. When I was there, I never had anyone telling me to make sure I clean the bathroom or the kitchen before I go to sleep. I didn’t have anyone to tell me what to do at all and that was the life! I didn’t have to worry about school, work or family problems, which is why I called it a mini-vacation. I have to admit I fuckin’ miss it! I wanna re-live those 3 days over and over again. I wanna cry right now, seriously. 

I cannot always be depended on for every damn thing. My parents, especially my Dad, need to learn how to boss my brothers around more instead of me. Shit. They’re the ones who don’t do as much as I usually do, why are they the ones not needing to worry about cleaning the kitchen when they come home? Why are they able to have a life and not me? That’s not fair at all! I’m fuckin’ 20 years old! I NEVER had a normal teenage life. I wasn’t able to get to do the things that normal teenagers got to do, so I was always jealous of them all. While everyone else was hanging out and whatnot, I was always stuck at home taking care of my younger siblings. That’s all I ever did. My curfew was 4:30pm. Rarely was I ever allowed to even go to the mall with my friends, to sleep over or hang out after school. And now looking at my brother, who’s a freshman in high school, now he’s living a more normal teenage life than I ever did. He gets to stay after school for football practices, wrestling practices and more. He gets patted on the back for getting a girlfriend. Fuckin’ typical. He’s able to sleep over at his friend’s house and he never has to come home and worry about whether or not there’d be dishes to be washed, laundry to do or the bathroom to be cleaned. I’m fuckin’ jealous. I’ve had so much anger within me for so long and I can’t take it anymore. I’m so tired. I’m so fuckin’ tired. Sometimes I just wanna runaway, but God knows I would never have the heart to do that. I love my family and all, but sometimes, most of the time, they get on my fuckin’ nerves. I WILL NOT stand for this. I will continue to speak my mind and train my brothers to do everything I HAD to do when I was younger. I am not going to let them just sit their asses down in front of the tv watching or playing video games while I’m working my ass off. Fuck that shit. I’m tired of being depended on. I’m tired of this shit. Things need to change around here for good. Fuck.